It's Been a While...

I feel like I've been avoiding writing for the last few months. December 2023 was my last published post. Gosh. I've written a few things since then but I haven't published any of them because I wanted them to be "perfect". I wanted to be perfect.

Truth be told, none of us are, that's why we need Jesus. Hello! I don't know why but that's been one of the things I struggle with the most. Trying to be perfect. The perfect mother, perfect daughter, perfect wife, perfect sibling, cousin, and friend etc. I even try to be perfect in the eyes of God. As if that's not the best joke I've ever heard. We ALL fall short.

Look, call me crazy, but, I was praying the other night and I realized I was just talking like normally would-in my head-using slang, talking with my hands, facial expressions-the whole 9, like if I were just talking to a friend at a slumber party. I caught myself and went from that to the "proper" prayer posture I was taught as a child (be still, relax your face, bow your head, close your eyes, hands together) and God said "What are you doing, that's not you?" I chuckled confused for a second; then it hit me. God knows every hair on my head and every thought in it. Every cell in my being and every ounce of blood in my heart. He Knows ME. Why am I masking? Why am I trying to be perfect while I'm talking to God, who knows good and well that I am not, but still loves me anyways.

I've done with the same in my everyday life too, not just my prayer life. I often over think things, and don't publish my writings. I overthink situations with people in my life, and work. The "What could I have done differently?" "Their tone was different, did I do something wrong?" The nagging thoughts that cause anxieties and insecurities. It all stems from wanting to be perfect for everyone all the time. I'm realizing, I can't let those thoughts make me think I have to be different; it's exhausting. I know I'm not the only one that deals with this, and I really hope this helps someone. God knows we're not perfect, so why should it matter in our everyday lives as long as were showing love and respect? I'm trying something new.

We are all imperfect people, with imperfect lives, living in a very imperfect world, but we serve a perfect God. I'm embracing my imperfections and letting go of those nagging thoughts in the name of Jesus. Can I get an Amen!?

I originally started this blog to highlight and discuss the interesting topics of the Bible, to write about what Jesus has done in my life to encourage others who are in similar situations, to spread love, create interest and talk about the Gospel. I started getting so worried because, who am I to talk about the Bible and Christ if I'm nowhere near perfect. That's not what God wanted, that's not me. I'm being lead to just give the raw, imperfect version.

I hesitated for a long time because I tend to see things a bit different sometimes, and differences in opinions cause friction. I don't like friction, but I do love open respectful conversation. At the end of the day we are all, again, say it with me, imperfect people. We are all equal in the eyes of the Lord, that's what matters.

Remember, Matthew 7:1-2 “Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you.

Don't be so quick to judge others, or to take heed to others' judgement. We are all in this together.

Until next time friends. See you soon!